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July 7th, 2005

09:13 pm I'm trying to make a new LJ. This one is kind of old. Yeah... Hi. Um, went to NYC today. I am going back to IL tues. not monday. And I keep getting nightmares. I want to do something about it. Like what though? I'm not sleeping well at all. I dunno. I need a private a journal of my own... So no one can read it. Grrness... I dunno what to do... Oh well... I feel like crap everytime I do something. Not just feeling fat. Like, no reason to live. The dull moments that kind of come to you when you think that. I'm getting like 10 dizzy spells a day and it's all starting to piss me off. Since when did I ever become so.. I dunno.. shitty? And yet I ave some who "loves me." lmao. That's how Vinnie puts it. When he gets to college... It's all going down the drain. EVERYONE of my family members are saying. They say he'll be a good attraction because he is younger. ANd of course he will be meeting new ppl and they will all be lots better than me, is what they say. Well, that helps doesn't it? Then I ask if I should just not even bother getting hurt and dump him now. (this is me out of it.. VERY fucked up and half awake...) They say to do whatever I want. And of course I don't want to dump him... so yeah. I doubt I will ever have the guts to. The way I like him... I've never really understood love. I always say that love sucks. Well, I still kind of think that. I know it does. But it has its ups AND downs. I'm just scared. But eventually... we all no nothing lasts forever. Lalala. ANd there is a first for everything. That's for you Diana. I'm getting mad a lot. At myself. I keep on visualizing myself... dieing.. do tell you the truth. I feel like there is no regret to doing that. But yeah no.. I wouldn't. But nothings going away. What do I do? This shit won't go away. It's so confusing. Is this what life is? Is it? And if it is? Why are we the only ones suffering it? Fuck it! I swear, I'm starting to freak out over everything. I think that it's true... Whatever goes around comes around. I'm so superstitious, it's rediculous. I'm so scared that If i do something wrong or bad.. I'll have to pay for my actions... I hate how life is like this. oh well. Oh fucking well. Current Mood: scared

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June 30th, 2005

10:17 am Hi. Mrs. Bloom has a thingy now. How do u make ur Lj look kewl? I am bored. Really bored. I dunno what to say... Okay. Um, there was a pizza man who ate the pizza he was supposed to deliver. The boss got mad. The boss ate the pizza man. The pizza man now haunts the pizza store. Okay, the end. Current Mood: worried Current Music: Scars- papa roach

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June 13th, 2005

12:22 am well hi... ummm its hard to write wen my best frend is ovet my bak lol but o well. ya i still w/dennis and i wud never hurt him. dunt worry be happy... ya ok ya i hung out w/ sum pplz today i gots my cuzing over herre and its awsumness anyhoo.... i dunno about smoking. the end.. well... its like. i dunno i think it wud be a relief a side track type thing o well. other pplz dunt want me to the fine. i need a now sn for this dam thing lol ok Current Mood: crazy Current Music: hiiiiiiiii

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June 2nd, 2005

08:55 pm Hey ppl. Haven't updated in a while but.... hi. Yeah, as u all no im going out w/ dennis. I REALLY like him. no i love him. Hi. Bye. No wait. Im very tired lately. Now, bye... Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: ummm.... green day- bolivard of broken dreams... i think

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May 22nd, 2005

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May 19th, 2005

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May 8th, 2005

03:39 am well its been a long time since ive seen this freakin site. Im bored out of my mind and i dunt no wat to do. there isnt much 2 say other than wat happened over the weekend; there was this guy named matt and i got dared to make out w/ him. i gave in and did. i told dennis cuz i was guilty and then told my 7th grade bf and i CARE so i really cudnt help but tell him. matt was a crappy kisser to (he was in 7th grade to) i thot he was a freshman tho so it really wasnt worth it. it was hell. the end i AM NOT A SLUT! this jus happened to be the first time in like a year that guys have wanted to kiss me.... dunt worry i no y to. i need to protect my upper body... god i hate my twins hey question of the day: how many crushes do u have and who r they? o ya another 1.... can u save $ for me for plastic surgery?? no jk not the question the other question is: do u like u2? Current Mood: embarrassed Current Music: slipknot-spit it out

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April 20th, 2005

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April 19th, 2005

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April 14th, 2005

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April 5th, 2005

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February 28th, 2005

12:40 pm hey agen pplz! im at skewl as usaul... w/ wes at my side "hi wes" i say and noelley and madia lmao ok ya im gay anyhoo im goin out w/ kyle and all he is soooo sweet! and he acepts me 4 who i am 2. he dunt give a sh*t about wat the heck ppl thinks of may bay bay! ok ya sry bout that im soooo happy... ihavent been so happy in 4evr! he is sweet as heck duuuuuude! yay madia is making a lj now 2! luv ya muchiez maria! hahahahaha.... wait no MWAhahahahaha thats betta now eh? ok ya well evry1 is trying to set me up iono well like EVRY1 dammmmm........ be-otch hee hee. oky doky smoky loky doky boky ya u getz da point im going ghetto cuz i feel like it so ha! i got sooo may books at the library yesterday around 8 books and finished 3 yesterday! im good o ya o ya.. now i jus cant wait 4 gym cuz i get to see kyle agen~ yes im obsesve so shush! i jus wont let him no i am.. hee hee great plan eh? i hope he cud still acept me tho 4 being hyper to lol no... anyhoo here: i live kyle i love klye i love kyle i love kyle Current Mood: awake

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February 16th, 2005

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February 7th, 2005

10:07 am hey ppl! wazzup? havent updated in a long time cuz ive used sum gay xanga i have 3 of those now like lj!!! i hate men *in a way*! lol no...... well mrs. bloom jus told me to find out how 2 go on xanf\ga site 4 skewl so BYE! Current Mood: aggravated

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December 28th, 2004

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December 23rd, 2004

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December 21st, 2004

10:37 am UHG! I HATE MY LIFE! ok i feel better i dont wanna use my xanga anymore i am like totally pissd and i sound like a fukkin prep dammit wats it matter about preps im so judgemental......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: bitchy

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10:27 am wow i havent updated in FOREVER! i feel fucked up but that is ok cuz im used 2 it. lalalala i am going out w/ jesse again for the 7th time SEVENTH! ok i need to like dump him FOR GOOD next time, i have a new email adress wich is gothicplz@yahoo.com ok this will make me feel better:  hee hee im good! Current Mood: mellow Current Music: green day- american idiot

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November 25th, 2004

05:28 pm fuck im going out with jesse the slut again o well ill live. i guess i just said yes cuz he was like begging my ass off to go out with him again. ill backstab him for wat he did to lindsey! lol jk or am i? not sure ok well ive been taking an overdosage of pills for my headache and finally realized that exederine isnt working. i have been cutting myself non- stop. fuck the counsiler and wat every1 else says i dony give A SHIT my arm is like full of fucking scars and im no longer depressed but its become an addiction. i have started cutting in different places now too. i cant seem to wash the dishes without getting my sleeves soaked cuz i cant roll them up. or i will suffer the consequenses with haveing my parents see those scabbs and shit. done Current Mood: predatory Current Music: blink 182- obvious

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November 17th, 2004

05:38 am my new name is now stupeedo im finally over the fag jesse and im bored a fudge. im tired of cursing and all i wanna do is sleep! im sooooo sleepy and i hate going home its 2 loud here and there is sooo much friggin lite! i cant stand lite anymore for sum reason. i wish that it would be lite throughout the hole day and this was really funny at lunch 2day! i was throughing food at ppl i dont like and i got caught by the teachers and the assistant principal was yelling at me but 4 sum reason i couldnt help laffing! he said i wasnt very smart well no crap! and so my punishment was 2 clean the tables AGAIN! lmao well that was gay and then i skipped study hall cuz i didnt feel like going so me maria and allisa hung in the hallways the hole time it was fun i guess... i hate eating and every1 makes me eat im thinking about going anerexic or sumthing cuz i never hungry and im 2 fat i have 2 suk it in every day grrrr! but skipping meals are making go bak into size 3's again! and i was like size 7 a month ago! the meal skipping is working! all i have 2 do is get mucsules! yaay! ya my dad went shpopping with me and we bought clothes and the 5's and 7's were like falling down on me so i had 2 get size 3's in jeans and i was sooo happy and my mom even aproved saying they were ok! thats VERY suprising! well thats it 4 now! byez! Current Mood: tired Current Music: im skinny!

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